nothing

i hate this schools choosing thing. all i want is to get into a better school. what's so difficult about it. all the schools are either so far away or so inconvenient.
why is this system based so much on results. you do well and you can continue to do well. you don't do well and you'll be left behind. everything is planned ever since we started our journey.
i hate this, but can i say it? even if i can say, no one will notice anyway.

i hate myself. for being so stupid. for being so useless. you get to go anywhere, and don't have much to trouble about. no matter what, you just have to choose to best around. what is there to trouble about.
me, i got nowhere to go. you happy now? you satisfied? i'm a total failure in your eyes. someone who can't do anything right. you got the whole world now. everyone likes you. everyone admires you. you're high and above, and i'm down right below.
i'll never be as good as you. i'll never gain your admiration. i'll just be your disappointment and your joke. a gust of wind to give you comfort and then blow away. you're the greatest, the highest, the biggest. you're always the main focus of everyone. you're always the best around. i am nothing to you.